At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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