her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
