I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize