Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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