So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Randomize
