come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
