i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's rum buckets o'clock
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
