i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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