I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
