My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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