I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm just crazy horny about you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize