Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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