Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
