You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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