ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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