we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
