K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
