I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
