i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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