glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
