dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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