we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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