easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
