Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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