But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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