I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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