I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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