did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
