Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
