There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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