My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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