In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
