Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
