Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
