I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
