A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
can u get pink eye on your cock?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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