I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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