You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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