They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize