You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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