what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
