thus making me awesome and them whores
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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