first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
