Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
