I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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