i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize