Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
