Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
