ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
