She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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