I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
