The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
