yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
