im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
