So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
