Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
