I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize