he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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