No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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