real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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