then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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