We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
