the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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