I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
